


losing self control and it's you

by scatteringmyashes



Category: Fire Emblem Series, Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Dorks in Love, M/M, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Praise Kink, Trans Character, Trans Felix Hugo Fraldarius, Trans Male Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-09
Updated: 2020-02-09
Packaged: 2021-02-27 21:06:51
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,184
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22632349
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scatteringmyashes/pseuds/scatteringmyashes
Summary: Felix would rather not think right now. Sylvain is more than happy to oblige.****Written by a trans author.
Relationships: Felix Hugo Fraldarius/Sylvain Jose Gautier
Comments: 5
Kudos: 250





	losing self control and it's you

**Author's Note:**

  * For [akhikosanada](https://archiveofourown.org/users/akhikosanada/gifts).



> Happy Birthday Cha!!!! This is absolutely the most filthy thing I've ever written and it's really just them loving each other and being soft. 
> 
> I hope you like it <3

Felix's hair falls in ebony waves, the impression of his bun left behind in small curves that Sylvain slips his fingers through as he admires the smooth silk sensation and the way the locks spread across their bedsheets, shadows against cream colored cotton. The air is warm and electricity seems to jump between their fingertips and lips, static traded between touches and sharp shocks slid between gentle kisses. 

Sylvain thinks Felix is beautiful, but that's like saying winter is the best season or that pumpkin spice lattes are superior to peppermint cappuccinos — subjective and controversial, but still a fairly popular opinion and one accepted by most at the very least as a legitimate opinion. Not because Felix is ugly but, by most societal standards, he's not perfect — he's athletic and muscular but not built and he's slim and lean from fencing rather than cut with hard muscle like a man made from marble. But Sylvain will take his perfect prince any day of the week, one with two scars across his chest and wetness between his thighs and a soft whine as Sylvain touches him between his legs. 

The Goddess may not exist, but heaven is being by Felix's side and true enlightenment is found between his legs. 

They're both naked. It's only fair, after all, that Sylvain be as vulnerable as he can be because he knows how difficult it is for Felix to even undress around another, even if that person is Sylvain. Maybe even _especially_ when that person is Sylvain. Felix squeezes his eyes shut and his hands around the fabric sheets, though Sylvain places his free hand in one of Felix's and holds him tight, as if his body isn't already bracketing Felix in warmth and comfort, in promises and protection, in lust and love. 

A moan quivers from Felix's lips as Sylvain brushes his cock, smears wetness over it and glides his fingertips across the tip. Felix squirms a little, hips rising to meet Sylvain, and Sylvain is helpless to do anything but give into the silent request. Still, he leaves soft love bites across Felix's collarbone and neck because Sylvain's many things and possessive is just one of the ugly marks against his name — while few look at Felix the way he does, he also would rather make it clear that Felix is accounted for, that there's someone who cherishes him and worships him and has been with him through everything that the cruel, hateful world has thrown at him and helped wipe the sometimes literal blood off his hands when Felix fought back. 

"I love you," Sylvain murmurs in Felix's ear as he gently traces circles around Felix's entrance. "Is it okay if—" 

_"P—Please."_ Felix breathes out, his eyes opening just enough to meet Sylvain's before sliding away, following the lines of Sylvain's chest to the jut of his hips to the thick cock hanging there, drops of precum staining sheets and Felix's skin. 

And oh, he is so wrecked already — they've hardly done more than look, than kiss, than touch, hands sliding over clothes and sides and finally bare skin. Then again, it's rare that Felix comes to Sylvain and asks for this, asks for Sylvain to fall into bed with him and do the most carnal of acts, this physical manifestation of Sylvain's adoration and acceptance and Felix's trust and confidence. There is no one else whom Felix will allow to break him apart like this and there is no one else Sylvain would want to deconstruct. Sylvain is hardly one to complain when his wonderful partner asks for sex and today is no exception, which is why, as the light of the afternoon filters into their bedroom through the crack in the curtains, he slowly slips one finger into his partner. 

Sylvain shivers at the sensation, waiting for Felix to nod before sliding in another and then starting to thrust them in and out, gently stretching Felix open. Felix is leaving a small stain on the bed with how wet he is, and though Sylvain is smart enough to not mention it, he knows that the image of Felix flushed and loose-limbed and spilling onto the bed with Sylvain's fingers in his body and Sylvain's love bites on his skin will be one that he holds on to forever. Instead of speaking, Sylvain goes to add a few more marks to the canvas of Felix's body. There can never be enough, after all. 

Though Sylvain craves this gentle intimacy in a way that he did not know his heart _could_ yearn, Felix is impatient as always and soon he's glaring down at Sylvain. "I won't break," he snaps, sitting up so that his hair spills down his chest in inky black rivets. "I thought you wanted to fuck me." And it's so heartbreaking how Felix says it, because his lip trembles and his eyes are watery and they both know what Felix is asking for, how hard it is for him to ask for this, and Sylvain can never say no to him even when the idea is terrible. 

No one has ever said that grief must manifest in particular ways. Some cry, some scream, and some get the thoughts fucked out of them by their boyfriend while pretending not to cry, trying to fill the void of broken family bonds and too many gravestones with whispers of love and adoration and sex. Sylvain's self-assured enough, nowadays, to not take it personally when Felix is quiet and sullen all day, because Goddess knows how Sylvain reacted to losing Miklan and then his own subsequent abandonment of family. Just because it was his own making didn't make it any easier to cope with. 

He's thinking of none of this as he puts a condom on — most likely unnecessary, considering Felix has been on hormones for years and years and they're both clean, but why take the risk? — and checks once more with Felix to make sure that he is still present, or at least as present as he can be. 

"Do it," Felix murmurs. The last syllable is pushed from his throat as Sylvain presses inside, slow enough to not hurt Felix but quick enough that there's still a bit of a burn. Felix arches his back, pressing his hips closer to Sylvain's until the two are fully connected. Felix nods before Sylvain can even ask and Sylvain begins to move, thrusting in and out, all the while holding Felix's hand with his own while his other explores the planes of Felix's chest and stomach and thighs. 

The warmth around Sylvain's cock pales in comparison with the heat that's spread throughout his entire body, his body flush as his blood runs through his veins. His mouth hangs open as he pants, in and out in rhythm with how he slides in and out of Felix. Each time he presses deep, Felix moans, throws his head back, tightens the grip he has on Sylvain's hand. His other hand pulls at their sheets, twisting them around until they're tied around his wrist as a tether. 

"Please, please," Felix begs so sweetly, pink lips turning red as he bites on them, his pride mixing with shame as he keeps begging and pleading, asking Sylvain to do more, more, more. "Syl—Sylvain!" He shouts as Sylvain hits that spot that makes lights dance in Felix's eyes and his entire body tense. He tightens around Sylvain which makes Sylvain moan, all the air leaving his lungs in one fell swoop. 

Sylvain rubs circles on Felix's stomach, licking his lips as Felix _mewls_ with pleasure. As Sylvain's thick cock spreads Felix open, Felix squirms in search of more pleasure, more sensation, more physical contact. His free hand breaks free of the sheets and he grabs Sylvain's hair, tugging him down with another sharp motion. Their lips slam together as Sylvain buries himself to the hilt, staying there as he and Felix breathe into one another. 

"You're so pretty, Fe, you're so pretty like this — spread out like a painting, like art, one of those sculptures in museums, the ones people write books on," Sylvain is rambling, his hips moving again, slow but steady and strong, reaching deeper inside Felix than anyone else could even imagine. He usually does this, does everything he can to drive Felix wild, but today he goes even further, thrusts harder, and goes faster, because he can see the tears Felix is desperately blinking away and the way Felix is trembling underneath him. 

Because Glenn died ten years ago and Felix hasn't taken an anniversary this hard in years and if Felix wants Sylvain to fuck away his thoughts then, well, that's something that Sylvain can do. 

"I love you, Felix, I love you so much. I'm so lucky, I'm the lucky one, to get to have you here with me, have you all flushed out and red and wet for me, so open and ready and beautiful. You feel so good," Sylvain swears as he brushes his lips against Felix's and trails his free hand down Felix's torso. His hole is spread around Sylvain's cock, a sinfully delicious sound hitting their ears every time Sylvain thrusts in. Sylvain's not one to brag — well, he is but not about their sex life, since Felix prefers that the world not know how he looks when Sylvain is deep inside him and kissing him and making him beg — but he knows he's a bit thicker than most. He's also the only one who's ever had the pleasure, the honor, the trust and respect to be this intimate with Felix and that knowledge is enough to make Sylvain have to swallow a moan and stop himself from cumming right there and then. 

Sylvain gathers up slick as it drips from Felix's hole and mixes with the lube on the condom. He smirks and brushes a fingertip over Felix's cock, that smile growing when Felix shouts, hips shoved up against Sylvain and the fingers tangled in Sylvain's hair as he tugs at the roots. Felix sinks teeth into Sylvain's neck, not quite drawing blood but making Sylvain groan as sharp pin pricks of pain travel up his spine and down to his dick. 

It just makes Sylvain more eager to see Felix continue to unravel, to see his mask fall and shatter as Sylvain promises love and safety and pleasure in their most private and tender of places. Sylvain starts truly circling Felix's cock, and oh it's so much bigger than a girl's clit, it really is a dick and if Sylvain wasn't going out of his mind with how Felix tightens around him, how Felix moans and gasps and fucking shivers with each thrust, then Sylvain would love to wrap his lips around it and see Felix come that way. 

As it is, Sylvain cannot stop himself. He's a runaway train with a single destination in mind, his mouth babbling nonsense truths about how much he adores, cherishes, loves Felix and how tight, hot, wonderful sex is with him. He can feel Felix suddenly clench around him, back arching, mouth opening in a silent gasp and his eyes fluttering. Felix's hands tear at Sylvain's hair even as Sylvain continues to caress Felix's cock with his fingers. 

"Sylvain," Felix breathes, and he's so soft and quiet and his eyes are glassy and Sylvain's heart breaks with how much he loves this person, this man, his soulmate, and he can feel the crushing weight of Felix's love in the way Felix holds tight onto Sylvain as the last aftershocks of orgasm tremble through Felix, in the way Felix kisses him softly, in the way Felix even allows Sylvain to see this part of him. 

"You're so handsome, so sexy. I'm the luckiest guy in the world, Fe. I love you. I'm not going anywhere. I love you." Sylvain can feel the thin layer of sweat that coats his entire body, can still feel a throb between his legs every time Felix breathes. But he'll wait here patiently for all eternity if that's what Felix wants.

Of course, that's not what Felix wants. 

"Keep going," Felix begs so sweetly, his last vestiges of pride shucked away in the afterglow of sex. And Sylvain is powerless when Felix is, to put it crassly, fucked out of his mind and asking for more.

Sylvain first pulls out, earning a whimper from Felix at the sudden emptiness. That is quickly replaced with an indignant yelp as Sylvain manhandles Felix onto his knees, though once Felix realizes what's going on he's quick to assist as he gets into the position. Sylvain trails one hand down Felix's spine, a few marks from childhood scrapes lingering on Felix's otherwise smooth skin. But he's not here just to look, and he can't help but sink two fingers into Felix's ever so slightly gaping entrance. 

Felix groans, the width and length not nearly enough to satisfy him but still intimate enough to make him warm. Sylvain is at an awkward angle, but he's got enough experience that he can still finger fuck Felix a bit, working him back up until he's back to making a mess on the bed. Sylvain licks his lips as he pulls his fingers away, eyeing the thread that links his fingers to Felix's hole until it breaks and scatters across Felix's thigh. 

Suddenly, Sylvain has a much deeper need than to get his dick wet. 

He smirks when Felix shouts as Sylvain licks up his folds and swirls his tongue around Felix's cock. It really does fit in his mouth quite nicely, making Sylvain's own dick harden and his head buzz. Felix rocks back and forth on his heels, his head shoved into a pillow as if that can really muffle his cries, and on another day Sylvain would make him keep his head up so Sylvain could hear every noise but today is about Felix's pleasure and Sylvain will do everything in his power to make Felix lose his mind. Sylvain's hands are wrapped around Felix's thighs, keeping them spread apart even as Felix tenses and flexes the muscles there. It leaves him open for Sylvain's mouth, where he licks up the mess spilling from between Felix's legs like a man starved. 

The lube left from the condom is tasteless enough and maybe Sylvain should find Felix's slick gross, but all he can think about is how he's the one who made Felix spill like this and he's the one who makes Felix squirm and gasp and tense with each kitten lick. Sylvain gets tired of the minimal helpings and plunges his tongue inside and Felix, despite Sylvain holding him back, still almost crushes Sylvain between his thighs. It's so worth it.

The angle isn't the best for Sylvain's head but he wants his fill and there's so much for him to taste — he's always been a glutton, a restful creature but more of a famished one, his taste extending beyond sexual desire but into money and food and entertainment. But yes, of course, there is a lot of sex. Or there was. Now, he's replaced quantity with quality. It really does make a difference.

Sylvain pulls his tongue from Felix only so he can suck on his cock again and Felix howls, arching his back as his boyfriend blows him. But Sylvain's own dick is dripping and aches for something more than cutting in the sheets, so he quickly pulls away and gets on his knees. He grinds up against Felix's ass and Felix actually cranes his neck to glare. 

"I—I swear, Gautier, if you don't fuck me—" He's still far too coherent, though his eyes are glassy for more than one reason now, so Sylvain's clearly not doing his job right. He decides to solve that by pushing into Felix again, turning that glare into a cut-off moan. 

Their new position gives him more leverage, simply put, so he can hit Felix's sweet spot and spread him open and rake his nails lightly across Felix's back to see him squirm. Sylvain is rambling again, his mouth saying such pretty things and some vulgar things about the stunning sight laying before him, but if Felix takes offense it doesn't show. Rather, he preens like a prince and shoves himself further onto Sylvain's cock and clings to their bedsheets all the tighter. 

It's sinfully pleasurable, the orchestra that is Felix's moans and the sound of his hole getting _fucked_ and the slap of skin against skin. Sylvain can feel himself tensing and then, with a shout and a gasp and a vow of love, he feels himself empty into the condom, though Felix whines like he's being filled instead. He grinds his hips back but doesn't provide more stimulation than that, which Sylvain is grateful for as he slowly pulls out. 

He takes enough of a moment to tie the condom off and make an attempt at throwing it towards a trash can, though he's certain he'll have to deal with it later. He then slides three fingers into Felix and uses the other hand to caress his dick. It doesn't take much for Felix to orgasm again, his entire body shaking and a bit more slick dripping out of him. Felix moans low and soft as Sylvain withdraws his fingers, closes his legs and flops on the bed to silently tell Sylvain that he's done. 

The bed is dirty enough that Sylvain decides to shove the top cover off, though he cuddles close with Felix under the remaining ones. They're both still nude and sweaty and it's not even two o'clock yet, but they can get up and shower later. 

Felix looks beautiful with his hair down and a soft, gentle fucked-out look on his face. Sylvain kisses his cheek — Felix doesn't like kissing after Sylvain's gone down on him, a combination of thinking it's gross and dysphoria that Sylvain's not nearly enough an ass to push, but the cheek is acceptable — and wraps one hand in Felix's. Their legs tangle together. 

"I love you," Sylvain murmurs. 

"I love you," Felix replies. He rests his forehead in the crook of Sylvain's neck. "Thank you." 

"I should be thanking you. A handsome man in my bed? That's not something that happens every night." Sylvain grins. "Well, okay, two handsome men if you include me." 

Felix pokes him in the side. "How long have we been dating?" 

"Not long enough." 

Felix playfully shoves Sylvain's head into the comforter. Sylvain deserves that. 

They don't sleep, but the tranquility that falls over them is more gentle than any night could be, the two of them breathing in time with their synchronized heartbeats. 

_I want to marry you,_ Sylvain realizes. _I want to spend the rest of my life with you_. 

"You're thinking," Felix murmurs, a single sharp eye looking at Sylvain critically. Sylvain grins. 

"Don't worry about it," he says as he laces their fingers together. "I'll tell you later." Sylvain can't wait to know what Felix's hands are like when he has a wedding ring.


End file.
